Hell hath no fury but it has a hotel

As we disembarked from our train at the central station of our new abode there was an air of excitement amongst us three travellers. This was to be our new home. The fear of the unknown coupled with the sensory overload accosted by new surroundings was a strange mix of emotions, but in the end the butterflies in our stomachs took flight as the realisation that our new home looked 'kinda cool'. As our heads swivelled this way and that, from bar to bar, to designer store and for 'The Robber' at the immense population of young barely clothed university girls, we were all smiles. That is until 2 weeks later, after living in what some would say 'close quarters' and still no nearer to signing a lease, our smiles faded and instead were contorted into the faces of people who were experiencing the dreaded 'Cabin Fever'. With money running out fast, we spent more and more time in our hotel which was once our sanctuary but was now fast becoming something more sinister, our tomb.

Yes, Chesty, 'The Robber' and I were forced to spend 2 greuling weeks at a fantasticly cheap and 'cosy' (for lack of a non-slandering word) known as 'Etap'. 'The Robber' who isn't the most vertically challenged of fellows slept on a bunk too small for a large toddler for the duration of our stay, with his feet hanging over the edge in my face most nights like 2 overripened bananas waiting to be plucked and made into a smoothie. Mine and Chesty's months of pent up passion were curbed to a quick romp each morning after 'The Robber' announced he was going downstairs for breakfast to which we replied 'We'd be coming in a minute'. Ah yes, you must fall on hard times before you can truly appreciate the good. About the only advantage was you could shave whilst in bed still as the bathroom and bedroom were one and the same, that and the fact there was a convenient hole in the shower door, that I utilised for my own amusement anytime I was showering and 'The Robber' was cleaning his teeth. "Oh Marty, Marty, come on and give me a nice lickery kiss" the pinkish worm would say as it protruded through the shower door. Needless to say we were ready to bludgeon the bejesus out of each other by the end of 2 weeks and we had to find a place to live and fast, for both the sake of our sanity and personal safety.